Read My Lips
by TheSecretCity
Summary: Sequel to 'The Lip Gloss War'. Garcia needs a boyfriend, and since Dave is so happy with JJ, he takes it upon himself to help her out.
1. Blackberry Vine

Blackberry Vine

Penelope Garcia was very satisfied with herself, sitting in the bistro down the street from the BAU and waiting for David Rossi. It was their once a week lunch date, which Dave kept even though he now had JJ living with him. Not that anyone talked about that, of course. And Garcia kept a very close eye on the rumor mill, so if anyone outside the team suspected that two of them were living together they would be the first to know.

And as a plus, when they exchanged information at the bistro, Dave always paid. What more could a tech ask for?

He came in, grinning ear to ear. Before he even sat down, she pounced.

"What? Tell tell tell tell!" she demanded.

He leaned down to chastely kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear. "Jennifer's going to kill me, she says."

Garcia gave him a look. "That's good?"

"Since in about eight months I'm going to be called 'Daddy', yeah."

Garcia shrieked and hugged Dave. "Awesome! Give her about twenty-four hours."

He sat down. "I will. She threw a stapler, two paperweights, and her cell phone at me."

"At the office?" Dave nodded.

Garcia thought. "Do you have paperwork past your eyeballs again?"

"Always."

JJ would sometimes help Dave file his past-due paperwork.

"Okay, here's your story. You asked for help with your paperwork again, and she has her own heavy workload, so she got mad and threw things at you. Stress-induced slamming."

"You could be our media coordinator. Maybe we should have you fill in for JJ on maternity leave."

"No, my furry friend, the camera does hate me. I blimp up on film."

"You do not. You are a woman with heavenly curves, and God forbid I suggest otherwise in front of Morgan. I value my life."

Garcia scoffed. "I tell JJ what her tantrum was about when we get back."

"Thank you, kitten. And how goes the rumor mill?"

Garcia filled him in on how, according to the mill, he was dating Emily and some floozy in the mail room, "But I sorted her, since she was spreading the rumors".

"I don't want to know," Dave declared over sandwiches and coffee.

She also added that apparently he and Hotch were either in a contest for Emily's affection, or Hotch was with JJ, but those rumors were in a harmless stage, so she wasn't concerned. The JJ and Hotch rumors had been swirling since JJ had joined the team.

Dave's brow knit, and he asked. "What about JJ being pregnant?"

Garcia waved the hand not holding onto her coffee. "As long as she doesn't say who, she'll be good. No law or policy compels her to name the father of her baby. And if Strauss _does_, believe you me I have the ammo to deal with the woman. Or rather, the ammo to give you to deal with the woman, since I can't look menacing if my life depended on it."

"I beg to differ. And if you ever quit the BAU, let me know. I need a handler, according to my publisher."

"You've got JJ on one side and me on the other. Chill."

"And now that we know all the jealously over Emily and who JJ is sleeping with, how about you? Seeing anybody?"

She gave him a look. "David Rossi, do I look like I have a hot man stashed away some place?" "Maybe. Is Morgan in your handbag?"

She smacked his arm. "Morgan is too sexy for me. He's got women all over him."

Dave leaned closer. "Between you, me, and the doorpost…"

"Yes?"

His voice dropped. "He told me, when we took Hotch out to get him to loosen up, that the only woman he wanted to go out with was you, but he was scared to ask you out."

"Bullshit," she accused. But her eyes were wide behind the glasses.

"Scout's honor," Dave promised.

"So, all I have to do is?"

"Two choices. One, I can try to convince Morgan to get over his irrational fear of being rejected by you and ask you out. Or the simpler solution."

"What's that?"

Dave leaned back. "You could ask him out."

Garcia's jaw dropped. "Rossi, I should let you get in trouble for getting JJ pregnant."

"I'm just saying, kitten. Think about it?"

"Only if you promise to work on Morgan while I think."

"Deal."

"Now," she sat up straighter, all business. "Tell me all about how JJ found out she was pregnant."

Author's Note: I couldn't help it. I had to write a sequel to 'The Lip Gloss War'. Review? Pretty please, chickadees?


	2. Winter Velvet

Winter Velvet

Garcia was back to hiding in her bunker. She had put a motion sensor in her outer door after getting shot as her one concession to paranoia, so when it dinged she looked up to see JJ and Emily coming in, arguing. Or rather, JJ cussing up a storm.

"And the smug bastard laughed at me! Just laughed like it was the funniest thing ever in all of history," JJ ranted. Emily was nodding.

"Hello my pretties," Garcia greeted them.

"I suppose Dave told you everything," JJ groused.

"And my total congratulations on your awesomeness at having a baby," Garcia agreed. "By the way, you threw things at him because he can't seem to file his paperwork and you're sick of doing it for him."

"I'm sick of him."

Emily gave her a one-armed hug. "It could be worse."

"How?" was JJ's demand.

Emily and Garcia chorused "It could be Will's baby."

That shut her up for all of three seconds. Then, "But I was on the pill! I shouldn't have gotten pregnant!"

Emily shrugged. "From personal experience, the pill and condoms and all that are just a matter of luck. As in, maybe I'll get lucky and these will work on a fairly consistent basis."

"Thanks, Em. Thanks a lot."

Garcia pointed to a chair. "Sit."

JJ sat.

"Now, my favorite blonde bombshell, I must inform you of certain things. One, David Rossi is irrevocably in love with you. You stood no chance of getting rid of him. Now he gets to be a Daddy, and you'll be stuck with him past Armageddon. My personal advice is to use that to your advantage. When you have cravings, send him out to get the food at a quarter past three when he has to be at work at six-thirty for a flight to California. Make him rub your back and your feet. He will wait on you hand and foot, I guarantee it."

JJ nodded, eyes perfectly limpid.

"And don't throw anything else at him. I have enough to do without greasing the rumor mill and being the inter-office media liaison," she added.

Emily giggled. "This is where we say, 'Yes, Mommy, we'll be very, very good.'."

JJ, with a perfectly straight face, said "Yes, Mommy. I'll be very good."

That cracked all of them up.

Emily leaned forward next. "I'm up for another blind date, BTW."

Garcia nodded. "And you come to me instead of Jordan Todd. Excellent. You want someone who doesn't mind some geekness? Those are my circles, my love. Geek chic. Give me a few days to find an appropriate person."

"Just someone who knows who Kurt Vonnegut is. And…"

"Yes?"

"If the guy's okay with Comic Con, it would be good."

Emily was blushing furiously. Garcia nodded cheerfully. "That expands my pool considerably."

"When are you going to get a date?" JJ asked.

"When all my babies are grown and married," Garcia quipped. "I have to get Emily and Reid settled with somebody, and Hotch needs a girlfriend who likes kids. Maybe has some of her own. Or at least one."

"And Morgan?" Emily teased.

"Morgan," Garcia said severely. "Can absolutely get his own dates. His mother and I have given up on him."

"You talk to his mother?"

Garcia nodded at JJ's question, turning back to her screens. "Fran and I talk once or twice a week, because Morgan sometimes doesn't tell her everything a mom wants to know about her baby boy. And wipe those smirks off your faces, I see them reflected on my screens. Out! All of you! I must find Emily a date and screen for inter-office rumors concerning JJ's temper tantrum and see if I can get Strauss into rehab for her prescription drug problem and a zillion other things. Begone from the temple of Awesomeness!"

They exited to the furious tapping of keys as Garcia called up her sources.


	3. Copper Power

Copper Power

On her first order of business, Garcia rechecked her profiles of possible dates for Emily Prentiss, multilingual daughter of a globe-trotting ambassador. She began with other techs. And settled on one, realizing that of course he was perfect. Not for Garcia-they'd tried the whole date thing, it was awkward-but for Em. Absolutely perfect.

She placed a phone call. "May I set you up on a blind date with a very dear friend of mine?"

And then to Emily while he was on hold. "Are you free Friday night?"

Between two on-hold calls she got them to meet at an arcade on C Street in Washington, that Friday at seven. And she hung up, pleased with herself. She was rockin'.

Next was a trip out to the water cooler where the other gossips circulated. She didn't like water but stopped there on her way to the coffee machine in the BAU office. As usual, it was surrounded by the crowd-LeAnn, Strauss's secretary, Devin from the mail room, and Libya from phone service. A scary triumvirate.

"Hey Garcia," LeAnn had a scary deep voice, like someone who smoked. "Did you here about the new people?"

"What new people?" Garcia asked. New people meant less coffee for her babies.

"Strauss got approval for a new, four-person team for the BAU," LeAnn continued, waving her water cup. "Some nut from DC who spent his life chasing aliens with his family and three handpicked agents who are apparently as nuts as he is. They get to deal with only Satanic-type crimes and junk."

"Good," Garcia said, mentally cringing. "We need all the help we can get. Who is the new SSA anyway?"

"Hadrian something, or something Hadrian. Out of DC, like I said," LeAnn shrugged. "More the merrier, eh?"

More for Strauss to yell at, she meant. Sometimes Garcia felt sorry for LeAnn.

Devin piped up. "A ton of letters have come through for Hadrian, though. From all sorts of UFO watch groups and places like that. Should be interesting."

Libya just rolled her eyes. God knew what kind of phone calls _she'd_ been getting, if Devin's mail was any indication.

Garcia politely concluded the gossip session and moved into the BAU itself, where Morgan and Reid were bouncing balls at each other, a good four or five in the air at once between the desks. Emily gave her a thumbs-up from her desk. Rossi, in apparent apology, was cleaning up his office from Hurricane JJ and chewing inside his cheek. Hotch was at his usual post-his desk, phone attached to his ear, hip deep in files.

Garcia went up to Rossi's office. "Is JJ still mad at you?"

"She told me to bring cookies when I came with her cell phone. Is this thing even a cell? It has pictures and I don't see any buttons."

"It's a touch screen."

"Huh?"

"Don't touch the screen. Treat it like very delicate evidence."

"Delicate evidence. What kind of cookies does she like?"

"Oatmeal raisin. I know," she said to Rossi's look. "There are several hundred varieties of very delicious cookie in the world, and those are JJ's favs. You can add other kinds, but make your centerpiece those oatmeal raisin."

"Oatmeal raisin," he repeated firmly. Garcia nodded.

Leaving Rossi to his own questionable devices with JJ's singular most important device, Garcia went next door to bother Hotch, now off the phone.

"Yes?" he said at her knock.

He was as he'd been for several weeks now, since signing his divorce papers-pale, getting thinner, with dark circles under his eyes.

"You are a mess, if I do say so."

"Thanks, Garcia."

"I strive for honesty. If I bought lunch, what would you eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

"That was so not the question, honey."

The last time she'd called him honey, he'd told her to not call him that. Now he didn't even bother.

"Sandwich, I guess. I'm not hungry."

"Too bad I appointed myself your mama, then. What kind? Chicken? Beef?"

He waved a tired hand. "Whatever."

"Roast beef and cheese, then."

She went down to the cafeteria, and with the sandwich also got her lunch and a couple sodas. Then she went back up to Hotch's office.

He sighed as she sat across from him and pushed the sandwich on him, and the soda. He made a face.

"Nuh-uh," she shook a finger at him. "The BAU is my house, honey. When you're here, you eat the food your mama puts in front of you."

That wrung a small smile from him.

Satisfied that she would be obeyed but realizing he wasn't above eating half and tossing the other, she stayed until he's eaten it all.

Author's Note: I was so trying for two chapters today, but my car's transmission went kerffluky while I was going to work and so I had to deal with all that drama plus my sister wanting to blow up the neighborhood with fireworks and I had to assist Dr. Destructo in that. So I did one nice long chapter, but I have a couple days off coming on Tuesday which I hope to fill with much writing.


	4. Super Cider

Super Cider

After cleaning up the detritus of their lunch-Hotch protesting only to be swatted down while she gathered the pieces-Garcia went back down to the bullpen.

"Baby Girl!" Morgan sauntered over, oozing his 'I am a god' thing that he did.

"What you up to, Hot Stuff?" she threw away the lunch remains she'd been carrying.

"You will have lunch with the boss man but not with me?" he had a hand over his heart in fake pain.

"He has better table manners," she quipped.

"Ouch. Just ouch, sweetheart."

She stuck her tongue out at him, and Morgan mimed slapping himself.

"So," he began once he'd finished with his self-administered punishments. "How is the resident Goddess today?"

"Truly divine, my dear."

He had a cup of coffee in his hand, which he transferred to hers. Black with Irish cream and, if her nose deceived her not, real sugar instead of Splenda.

"Thank you. Now what are you after, Derek Morgan?"

He tried and failed to give an innocent look. "Mom wants to have Thanksgiving dinner at my place this year."

Garcia couldn't help but smile. "It would be awesome to see Fran in person. Would your sisters and their families be coming, too?"

Apparently she wasn't supposed to find any of this awesome, because his expression dropped like a dead fly.

"Yeah," he managed. "What do you mean, 'in person?'"

"She and I have regular powwows, I love her. I've even talked to Desiree and Sarah a few times, too. And your niece Sami is just adorable, the way she answers to phone."

Under the dark skin, Morgan had lost most of his color. "Baby Girl, you were supposed to help me talk them out of it."

"Why? And you've got almost eight months to plan for it. That's when JJ-never mind," she realized that JJ hadn't told anyone but her, Emily, and Rossi about her impending bundle.

"What about JJ?" Morgan asked. "Fess up, sweetheart."

"Not supposed to say."

"Eight months? Is JJ pregnant?"

Garcia shot him her best withering look. "Go ask her yourself, Mr. Profiler."

She saw his eyes go up to Rossi's office, where he was finishing his OCD cleanup. "I'll pass."

"Good choice. And no telling anyone else what you know or even think you know, or I will tell Fran just how much you were looking forward to seeing her and your lovely sisters. Capice?"

Morgan held up both hands in surrender. "Don't go all Godfather on me, I'll be good."

"I know. And it's God_mother_."

His expression said it all, a very wide-eyed 'yes ma'am'.

It was perfect.

She couldn't wait for Fran to call.

Author's Note: Sorry about this being so short! I'm in the middle of getting a new car, Actually a used car, but I spent all day bouncing between financing a loan, checking out the car I'm after, calling my insurance and figuring out which junkyard to sell my old one to. And yelling at my sister for telling me how _Raise the Red Lantern_ ends before I could watch it myself (Blows raspberry at sister and dodges the book being thrown across cyberspace and the other one coming through the wall. Double whammy.).


	5. Pinker Town

Pinker Town

Garcia didn't like her team being out on cases. Oh, she liked catching bad guys and making the world better-it was why she was FBI-but she didn't like _her_ team loose with the bad guys. Or bad guy, in most cases.

And they were out there again, chasing a lunatic who fancied chopping people up with a butcher's boning knife. She had looked up pictures of a butcher's boning knife. She wished she hadn't, because now she would view all knives with suspicion.

The phone rang. It was her team, of course.

"Speak," she ordered with a twist of her pen, fingers typing as she spoke.

"Woof," it was Rossi. "Can you run a check for me?"

"Need I remind you who is your Empress, mortal?"

"No, Your Imperial Majesty. Robert Hill."

"Forty-seven in that county. More."

"He's a dispossessed farmer who lives inside the town limits. I need address and criminal history. Have you asked Morgan out yet?"

"That's the guy's job, not the girl's. Address is coming to your PDA. Criminal record coming up."

"It can be the girl's job if she's sexy and confidant like a certain technical genius I know. How do I access my PDA?"

"Ask JJ."

"Can't. She still thinks I'm the devil incarnate. A little help there?"

"I will speak to my high priestess regarding your offenses against her person. Again. And convince her better. Hill was convicted of an assault twelve years ago but got out early on good behavior. There will be a button on your PDA flashing 'New Message'. Use the arrow keys on the PDA to highlight it and hit the button in the middle of the arrows to select, and follow those steps to open the message. Scroll, highlight, select. If all else fails ask Hotch."

"I may just hand it to him. It's complicated."

Garcia actually stopped moving. For two whole seconds she was silent.

"David Rossi, it is three buttons."

"You're lucky I got set up with a cell phone. Hotch had to do that for me, too."

"Will you make sure he eats? I worry about him."

"We all do, kitten. And I'll try. But you may be helping JJ fetch me from the hospital afterward."

Garcia snorted. "Hotch is one big teddy bear. You just scare easy."

"Teddy-never mind," Rossi sighed. "You have no fear, Penelope."

"All true. Stay safe, my fine feathered friends."

"Will do."

No sooner had Rossi hung up then the phone rang again. Assuming it was a callback from one of the team, she answered with a "Hey Baby".

It was Fran, who laughed as a greeting and made Garcia go red. "Hello, Penelope."

"Fran! Hi, how are you? Sorry, I thought you were one of my babies. The team. Umm…"

"It's okay, sweetie. And I'm fine. You?"

"Fantastic in capitals. Derek told me you're coming out for Thanksgiving."

"He used the word 'descending' to me."

"I rephrased. Can't wait to meet you face-to-face, though."

"It's mutual. He always talks about you. Garcia this and Penelope that. His sisters keep asking when the wedding is."

"After he asks me out for the date," she quipped. "Trust me, people here are trying to get you legitimate grandbabies."

"Plural is good. If he marries you, should I expect plural grandbabies?"

"I love kids. I'd insist on half a dozen to start, at least," she admitted. "And a house I can paint bright purple and grown watermelons out back."

"Why watermelons?"

"They taste like candy. I never liked vegetables but I always liked watermelons."

"Good reason."

Garcia kept doing her searches for the crimes while she talked. The coroner's photos, the crime scene reports, flashed by with the research she was doing on acquiring the murder weapon. And she and Fran talked about November in Virginia.

"It's when JJ's baby is due, but I haven't told anyone here that, because she's still mad at Dave for getting her pregnant, which I don't get because he worships the ground on which her littlest toe treads. It's hysterical. She was looking for coffee one day, and the machine was all out so she locked herself in her office and yelled at anyone who bothered her. Rossi went halfway round town to hunt down the exact coffee she was after and brought her, like, a tankard of it. But I have a feeling he's gone into overprotective father mode and that's why JJ isn't dealing with him. That and her body's been hijacked by aliens, of course."

"Of course," Fran was laughing. "That's how I felt when I was pregnant with Desiree."

Garcia saw a line flash. "Gotta go, Fran. One of my babies is calling me."

"Okay, hon. I'll call again later."

"Anytime. Ciao, Mama."

Garcia didn't realize what she'd said until after she was deep in conversation with Hotch. Hopefully Morgan wouldn't hear about it.


	6. Sakura Shimmer

Sakura Shimmer

Garcia finally had JJ all to herself. They were at Garcia's place, waiting for Emily to get back from her mystery date.

"He actually went out and got my Triple Fudge ice cream. I mean, it was four am!"

"Dave is officially awesome," Garcia agreed.

"He still won't let me have coffee, though. I mean, the doctor said it was okay as long as I didn't have more then three cups max, nut he wants to cut me off completely."

"Come see me, I have the good stuff at all hours."

"I will. And he wants to start on the nursery."

"Are you done being mad at him, then?"

They were on Garcia's couch, sharing chips and salsa.

"I guess. I was just so floored. And I worry I won't be a good mom. Mine wasn't too great."

"And what does his mother say?"

"Sophie's been great. He told her and she came over with this huge lasagna when I wasn't speaking to him. She told me all about being a single mom in the sixties and seventies, when it wasn't as okay. And she had the two boys and three girls, too. It made me feel better, because at least I have you guys and his family. I'm not alone, you know? And plus she's ecstatic that her oldest boy is finally giving her some grandbabies."

Garcia laughed. "Yeah, Fran keeps asking when Morgan's going to give her grandbabies."

JJ got a very shrewd look. "And that would be when you and he finally hook up, I assume?"

She swatted JJ's arm. "You are as bad as your baby daddy."

"Dave's trying to get you and Morgan together? Tell me! He didn't say a word to me about this!"

"Of course not, I think he's just playing. I'm not delusional, you know. I'm not the woman who gets a guy to dedicate songs to you in a bar, or has them flocking all over her. Morgan's a great friend, but I don't think he wants me to be his girlfriend. That girl in Miami-now she's girlfriend materiel."

Garcia was proud of herself. Not a tremble in her voice and no watery eyes.

"Bullshit," JJ countered.

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not, and I can prove it."

"How?"

"Phone. Does it have speaker?"

"I am a technological mastermind. Of course it has speaker. What are you-no, wait-"

"Be absolutely silent, Penelope Garcia. Does he have your home number?"

"Cell. Jayje-"

"Then hush while I prove something to you."

The phone rang at the other end and was picked up. "Morgan."

"Hey," JJ replied.

Morgan sighed. "Don't tell me we've got a case."

"No."

"Thank God. What do you need then?"

"Question: Do you like Garcia?"

"Yes." No hesitation.

"A lot?"

"Yes."

"Now, if I set you up on a date with her, would you go?"

Garcia held her breath, but the reply was quick. "In a heartbeat."

"And would it be because you love her?"

"Is she right there?"

"Would I ask if she was? I heard a rumor from Dave, and I wanted to make sure you didn't mess with my sister. Answer."

"Yes. And don't tell her. I'm not smart enough, don't know half what she does. Jesus, JJ. I'm a pretty boy, just ask her and she'll tell you. I don't stand a chance with her."

"Thank you, Morgan. See you Monday." And JJ hung up.

Garcia's bottom jaw was on the floor. "Oh my holy friggin' _God_."

"You see? You both have this hang up that you're too different to get along like that. But you do, every day for, what-six years now? Seven?"

"Eight." She was blinking at the wall. "Wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

Garcia bit her lip. JJ pounced. "You gonna do something about this?"

The answer was slow to come. "Yeah, JJ. I am. I really am. If he doesn't first, anyway."

Just then there was a knock and a loud "Lemme in, you two!"

"But until then," Garcia gathered herself as she stood. "Let's see how Emily's date went."


	7. Mimosa Memo

Mimosa Memo

Emily let herself in and flopped on the couch, then looked at Garcia. Then at JJ. "What happened to her?"

"She found our Morgan likes and is terrified to ask her out."

"We could've told her that."

"But she wouldn't listen."

Emily gave a shrug that said, well, that's true.

"How was your date?" JJ asked.

Emily almost instantly had a slow, sloppy smile. "It was awesome. I beat him at 'Call of Duty IV' and then we had a Star Trek quotes contest which he won but I came in a close second so that was okay."

"Where'd he take you?" Garcia asked, hoping for a nice restaurant.

"After we hit the arcade we went to Taco Bell."

Garcia rolled her eyes. "I knew he'd be perfect for you."

JJ sat up straighter. "So who is this guy? I want a name."

"Kevin Lynch."

It was JJ's turn to have her jaw on the floor. "Lynch? Mismatched tie and shirt Lynch? The guy from Internal Affairs? You went out with _Kevin Lynch_?"

"I know," Emily conceded. "Thanks, Pen."

JJ threw up her hands. "You're hopeless, Em."

"I know. So what are you going to do to ask Morgan out?"

Garcia fidgeted with her brooch. "I'm going to…hell, I don't know. What would you guys do?"

"Don't know," JJ contributed.

"Haven't the foggiest," Emily added.

"Fat lot of help you two are."

"Well," JJ added. "It seems to me that the whole Bureau knows you two are a thing. Girls just back off Morgan unless they're new, but someone always clues them in inside a week. What if you just walked up and said, 'I heard you were my boyfriend, so why don't you take me out?' or something like that?"

Garcia considered that.

Emily added her two cents. "It would be a kind of joking, flirty way to bring it up and get the ball rolling. That or 'Are you going to ask me out sometime before we're both too senile to appreciate it?'"

That one made them all laugh.

"Okay," Garcia took a deep breath. "Tomorrow I will ask Morgan out."

. . . . . . . . . . .

But the next day Morgan was absent. No one, not even Reid, knew where he was. So Garcia went up to ask Hotch.

Initially, he didn't want to tell her. "I don't need you running off, too."

"What happened, Hotch?"

He bit his lip. "His mother had a stroke. Just a minor one, but he needed to go home, she'll be fine, Penelope."

He never called her Penelope. She could feel herself starting to cry. "Oh God, I just talked to Fran not two days ago. Are you sure she's okay? I need to-to-oh God-"

"Garcia," he interrupted her firmly. "I cannot have you leaving too."

"Lynch can cover for me. Please, honey. I really love Fran, Morgan needs all of us he can get and I know nobody here can go but I _can_. Let me get Lynch set up to take over."

"I really only want you, Penelope. But we go on stand-down at the end of the week. One more case, and you can leave for Chicago. But I hesitate to take any cases without you."

"What do you mean? Any tech can do what I do." She was thinking, racing her mind. As soon as she got back to her lair she was calling Morgan and his sisters.

"The research, yes. The insights, no. You're as valuable to me as Rossi or Reid with the things you think of."

She stopped her racing mind and focused on Hotch for just a second. "I'll wait. But by God I'm leaving on Friday, case or no case, and you use Lynch while I'm gone, Understand?"

"More then fair. Thank you, Penelope."

Author's Note: I wasn't trying to make Hotch be a hard-ass, or kill Fran. I would never kill Fran, I think she's cool. So be assured that Fran will not die, nor either of Morgan's sisters. But I'm not above whacking distant cousins.


	8. Plum Dim Sum

**Plum Dim Sum**

**Garcia called Morgan almost before her door was closed. He answered with a tired "Hey, Baby Girl." "How's Fran?"**

"**Mom'll be fine, they're just keeping her extra days to make sure."**

"**Can I talk to her?"**

**He gave a weak laugh. "Not sure if that's safe for me, sweetheart."**

"**Do I need to remind you that I have disturbing if fabricated photos of you that could get into your sisters' hands?"**

"**Okay. Hang on," she could hear him shuffle. "Mom, you want to talk to Penelope?"**

**A minute later Fran was on. "Hey sweetie."**

"**Hey Fran. I'm coming out end of this week. Sooner, if I can."**

"**Oh, you don't have to. Derek's already mother henning, and both the girls."**

"**I do not mother hen. I invade and take over with my complete awesomeness. I will distract your brood from annoying you to distraction."**

"**Come sooner."**

"**As soon as my babies get back from this case JJ's sending them all on," she promised before hanging up.**

**. . . . . . . . . . .**

**It was a week and two days before she could escape. She had breezed past the team, punched Hotch in the arm, and not in a friendly manner, and made use of the tickets Rossi had got for her-round trip, first class, any flight into Chicago and back to DC. She had called Morgan everyday, and Fran, and Sarah and Desiree too.**

**Morgan met her at the Chicago airport looking like he hadn't shaved since he left, and it was probably true.**

**She didn't even say hello, just went over and hugged him. He wrapped himself around her.**

"**Hey, Baby Girl."**

**She rubbed his back and leaned so she could see his face. "Next time, Derek Morgan, you call me when something like this happens. I don't care if it's four in the morning and in Namibia where we've got to go. You call, you hear me?"**

**He chuckled. "Yes ma'am. Mom's waiting for you at the apartment. Told me to come get you. Said she wanted her future daughter-in-law at home. What you two been talking about?"**

"**Working out how many grandbabies I'm going to give her to torment you with. Because they'll all act like me, but look beautiful like you." Fran had called her daughter-in-law. Maybe she and Morgan could make it work. Family was always a huge hurdle.**

"**Sounds like a deal."**

**She had already decided that now wasn't the time to make a move on Morgan. Teasing, however, was the basis of their relationship. Teasing was okay.**

"**Come on," she tugged his hand. "Let's go home. I want to meet Fran and your sisters."**

"**And after I make introductions, I'm going to sleep for three days straight."**

"**Keys," she ordered. He handed them over without a word. "And three days is perfect. We can get most of the girl talk done."**

"**Most? Not all?"**

"**You hush. I punched our boss on the way out for making me so late."**

"**You hit Hotch?"**

"**On the arm, but only because I didn't want to shatter his lovely visage. Man can't get a date with a busted face and he is on my list of people I need to hook up."**

"**Where am I on that list?"**

**She winked. "I'll tell you when you need to know."**

"**Ouch, Baby Girl. Ouch and sheer terror."**

"**Shut up and get in the car."**

**Morgan picked up her suitcase for her. If nothing else, he was a complete gentleman.**

**Author's Note: I was going to post this this morning, but due to complications from the new car prevented me, darn it. More will be forthcoming! **


	9. Anything Rose

Anything Rose

Morgan held the door to the apartment open for Garcia, who swept inside in a dazzle of rainbow colors. She made straight for Fran, seated in state on the couch with her daughters on either side.

"Penelope!" the three said simultaneously. Sarah moved over so Garcia could seat next to Fran.

The first thing she did was give Fran a huge hug, then Sarah and Desiree. Then she took a deep breath and settled in on Fran.

"I about killed my boss for making me so late."

"Don't worry about it," Fran winked at Morgan. "I'm fine now that _all_ my daughters are here."

"Mom, that is not cool, hitting me up for grandbabies when your fresh out of the hospital and my guilt's into overdrive," Morgan pouted. Desiree gave him the 'Say what, bitch?' look.

"Baby brother, me and Sarah done our daughterly duty. Maybe you should get on board too. What you think, Pens?"

"I think you should trade him for me," Garcia recommended. "I want lots of kids."

"Done and done," Desiree agreed. "And you're better looking, too."

"Mom, you see this? You see how they treat me, your only son and your baby boy? You see this?"

Fran was laughing. "If we could find you a nice girl like Penelope-Actually, if you would take Penelope out on _one_ romantic date while you're here, I won't mention grandbabies. Until my next birthday."

Morgan's jaw dropped. Penelope looked at him, waiting. "It's a good deal, you know."

"And," Sarah chipped in. "You know, God forbid of course, you might like it enough to do a replay. Just a thought, bro."

"Will you two hush?" Morgan asked, Garcia's suitcase still in hand. "Penelope, would you let me take you out?"

"Of course, mon amour."

Fran nodded, satisfied. Garcia couldn't believe her luck.

"Derek," Fran said. "Will you take Penelope's things to the guest room?"

"Oh, Fran I can-"

"You will not stay at a hotel," Fran shook a finger at her newly adopted daughter. "I forbid it. Besides, I want to spend some time with you."

"Nobody ask me if I want to sleep on the couch," Morgan grumbled.

Garcia yelled as he disappeared down the hall. "I'll let you have the other half of the bed if you ask nicely, Derek. Maybe."

The women cracked up. Sarah gave her a one-armed hug. "Welcome to the Morgan family, whether Derek knows that or not."

Garcia hugged her back. "He catches on quick."

. . . . . . . . . . .

Garcia found several messages on her phone, in various states of distress, from her babies at Quantico.

The first was Hotch. "Garcia, I apologize for making you late getting to Chicago. Please tell Mrs. Morgan that, and Morgan as well. And call me back."

Next was Emily. "Dude, you punched our boss."

Rossi. "JJ and I are taking a poll. How does yellow for the nursery strike you? Tell Mrs. Morgan hello from us, too."

JJ. "I don't know what Dave told you, but we aren't having a yellow nursery. Yellow is blech. Yellow is what you see in the toilet after a late night partying. I'm after pale powder blue. Tell everybody hey."

Rossi again. "I'm not having a frothy blue nursery. What if we have a boy? It'll look girly. Help us resolve this dilemma, Goddess of All That is Knowable."

Reid. "What do I do about Clooney? The neighbor called because she's going out of town."

Reid again. "Never mind. Rossi has Clooney."

JJ. "Tell Morgan that he owes us a couch from where Clooney decided to eat it."

Another Rossi. "Morgan doesn't owe us a couch. Clooney did eat some of it, but it's fixable. And I wanted it reupholstered anyway."

Hotch. "Garcia, please do something about the nursery-decorating drama. Rossi and JJ are now taking it to work. And why are they arguing about Morgan's dog? Both of you need to come home. Especially you. With JJ pregnant you're the only sane one left. Call me."

Emily again. "Do you think Kevin would like to hit Atlantic City with me? I need a wingman."

Kevin Lynch, of all people. "Garcia, I really like Emily. A lot."

JJ. "I may kill Dave over this."

Rossi. "I'm about ready to give in. Almost. Call back, pretty please."

Reid. "Garcia, can I use your bunker while your gone? You have better internet."

She was laughing. God, she loved them. But first she had to call Hotch. So she dialed his office.

"Hotchner," he answered on the first ring.

"Go sleep on an actual bed before I call Rossi to take you to his place."

"Hi Garcia."

"Sorry I punched you."

"It's okay."

"No, it was mean."

"Yes, but it's okay now."

"Promise?"

"Promise. If you can sort the whole nursery thing. It's giving me a bigger headache then Strauss right now."

"I will attend to it, Fearless Leader."

He chuckled. "Do you know how many times this unit would've fallen apart without you?"

"That's it, I am calling Rossi. You never get all sentimental. You are way too tired."

"I'll sleep on the couch here."

"Like hell, Aaron Hotchner."

He was still chuckling when she hung up.


	10. Red My Fortune

**Red My Fortune**

**Garcia got up before Morgan, who had slept on the couch anyway, and brewed the coffee while calling Virginia. First was Dave's cabin in Little Creek.**

"**Thank God," Rossi answered. "Hon, Garcia's on the line."**

**Another line clicked on. "Hey Pen."**

"**You two," Garcia shook her head. "My dears, blue and yellow are so-so blandly traditional. Do something different. Use violet and green."**

"**Anything but that god-awful yellow," JJ grumbled.**

"**I still don't get that," Rossi replied.**

**Garcia interrupted before JJ could let off. "Dave, never argue with a pregnant woman. We are far too hormonal most of the time, and now it's worse for her. You be good and do as she says."**

"**You sound like my mother."**

**JJ piped up. "Who's already planning our wedding."**

"**Good," Garcia told them. "At least she likes you. BTW, Morgan asked me out."**

**Delighted gasps from the other end, and suddenly JJ and Rossi were on a united front.**

"**How did this happen?" JJ demanded.**

"**And when?" Rossi added.**

"**You two are the Dynamic Duo, you know, it's quite scary. He asked me out at his mother's request, with his sisters second and thirding it. He's taking me out tonight."**

"**You will call Em and I and share," JJ informed her.**

"**Em might me in Atlantic City with Kevin by then."**

"**Really?"**

**Rossi interrupted. "Hang on, Prentiss and who? Not Lynch?"**

"**Yes Lynch," JJ told him, sighing. "Stay on top of things."**

"**But she was seeing that guy from white collar crime, wasn't she?"**

**Garcia was in search of a huge mug, checking through the cupboards. "You need to not be so behind, Dave. She broke up with him two weeks ago because he had issues with washing his underwear, no lie."**

"**Never mind," she could imagine him making swatting motions. "I really don't need to know."**

"**JJ, honeybun, how is it your man can deal with those ugly murders but flinches when discussing unwashed undergarments?"**

"**Haven't the foggiest."**

"**Just checking. So, the nursery colors?"**

**A moment of silence, then Rossi spoke up. "Green with violet trim? Or the other way around?"**

"**Green with violet," JJ agreed. "Green is more unisex, and since we don't know yet…"**

"**Exactly."**

**She had found a mug that was glowingly orange and the size of her head. Perfect. "Just so you know, I expect to be named godmother for all this."**

**The reply was unanimous and simultaneous. "Absolutely."**

**Satisfied, she hung up and poured herself coffee.**

**And felt someone's hands around her waist.**

"**Derek!" she twisted and swatted, connecting with his chest. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"**

**He laughed. "I heard most of that conversation."**

"**I know Fran told you not to eavesdrop. I may have to tell on you."**

"**Not cool, Baby Girl."**

"**Very cool, actually."**

"**Where you want to go tonight? After dinner, since I know everyone wants to have you here for that."**

"**I want you to show me the places you were growing up," she told him simply.**

**The grin faded into something softer. "You're serious about this."**

"**Remember what I told you, about not being the girl who got songs dedicated to her in a smoky bar? Well, I didn't know until JJ called you last week that you kind of liked me, too, and it wasn't all a one-sided crush. So I want to try this, Derek. I want to make a go of this, if you're willing."**

**Here it was. Here was where he would laugh, make a joke, and blow the whole romance away. And she wouldn't try again.**

**He didn't move. He looked at her face. And then he reached up and touched her cheek.**

"**Penelope Garcia, will you marry me?"**

**She relaxed, but he didn't. He was waiting for her answer.**

"**Isn't this backwards? I mean, don't you go on the date first, then get married?"**

"**We've known each other six years, Penelope."**

**And she had to agree, she knew more about Derek Morgan then anyone, at least she hoped. He'd told her about Carl Buford once he'd come back, and no one else.**

"**So I'll ask you again. Penelope Garcia, will you marry me?"**

**Author's Note: I know. I'm evil for leaving you all with a cliffhanger. It was more dramatic that way. **


	11. Dapple Berry

Dapple Berry

"Penelope Garcia, will you marry me?"

"Derek?" Fran called from her bedroom. "Is Penelope out there with you?"

He lowered his voice. "Pen?"

And then she did the most impulsive thing she'd done since going off the grid when her parents died. "Only if you explain to Em and JJ how this happened without their foreknowledge."

He broke out into one of his singularly seductive smiles. "I love you."

"Wait till you have to explain this to them. You might say 'screw this'."

"Never, sweetheart."

"Derek!"

"Coming, Mom. Penelope's still here, drinking all the coffee."

She couldn't stop the smile on her face. "I'm marrying you son, Fran."

"Woman, could you not keep a lid on it for five minutes? Now Sarah and Desiree are going to be all over me."

Fran was in the living room, and she hugged Penelope. "Now I know I'll get some grandbabies."

"Trust me," Penelope said with a dash of sauce. "That's the first order of business."

"Oh God," Morgan groaned, sinking back into the couch.

She smacked him upside the head. "You behave."

Fran hugged herself. "I get to plan a wedding."

Penelope put an arm around her mother-in-law. "_We_ get to plan the most fantabulous wedding ever."

"Virginia?"

Penelope shoved her glasses a little further up. "Well, I want the whole team there, obviously, but maybe we can come here. It'll take some planning. But I can get everyone a leave around that time, I bet."

"Do I get any say in this?" Morgan asked.

"No," they agreed simultaneously.

"Sarah got married here, I don't see why we can't do Virginia," Fran decided with a finger to her lip.

"I have to tell my girlfriends, though," Garcia added. "JJ and Emily. Before anyone else does," and she shot Morgan a look.

"Why you looking at me? I don't blab."

"Just making sure, sugar."

He held up warding-off hands. "I promise my total silence until you tell everyone."

"And this doesn't exempt you from our date tonight," she added.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Morgan's phone rang. Their expression fell. Morgan put the phone on speaker.

"Hotch," Morgan answered. "I am gonna kill you for real."

"I really need you both back. I'm sorry. Can you come back to Quantico?"

Morgan sighed. "I'm coming."

"Garcia?"

She nodded. "I'm on my way, Fearless Leader. First flight out, I promise."

"I'm very sorry. Please tell Mrs. Morgan that."

Fran chuckled. "I was married to a cop, Agent Hotchner. I understand. I'll make sure they get hustled out of here ASAP."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Hotch?" Morgan asked. "Is the case local?"

"For us," Hotch said.

And the fact that he offered no details brought it home that this was bad, very bad, even compared to what they usually saw.

"Give us twenty-four tops," Garcia told Hotch.

. . . . . . . . . . .

While they were gathering luggage to go to the airport-Garcia had bumped a few Baptists to get them on the next flight to Virginia-Morgan put an arm around her.

"Sorry about the date, Baby Girl."

"It's our job. When it's over, you can take me on a date-slash-victory party which will be cooler, but I still expect to be shown around Chicago at some point before we're both ninety and everything's changed so bad you act like you have dementia. Capice?"

"I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too. But the threat still stands."

He chuckled into her hair. "Me, I'm looking foreword to the making-babies segment."

She sighed into his chest. "Men are such pigs."

"As my sisters will tell you."

"They have."

They stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing in each others' presence. "Ready, Baby?"

"As I'll ever be. It's kids. I can tell, the way Hotch talked. Whoever this sick puppy is, kids are involved. I want to do bad, horrible, undefined things to this unsub. I really do."

"This is a whole 'nother side to you."

She stepped back and straightened her hair. "My pep talk. I have to get psyched up to deal with these sickos. Be ready for more of the same until I get in my bunker."

"Got it."

Hand in hand, they walked out of the room.


	12. Lux Gold

Lux Gold

Garcia had been right. It was kids.

Hotch had told them both to come straight to the station in Alexandria, as soon as Garcia got whatever she needed form the office.

She didn't want to look at the photos. That was Derek's job. She was given other things-parameters of the disappearances, for example. She avoided the photos whenever she could.

Except of the victims smiling and happy. She always found at least one, or a childhood snapshot of them. This was both.

Bethany Gibson was a three-year-old girl from Alexandria whose parents had been killed in a rather ugly, nasty fashion. Garcia didn't want to know the details-the look on Derek's face was enough for her. And by all appearance the now-orphaned Bethany had watched the whole thing, or been forced to.

And now she was gone, kidnapped by whomever had killed her whole family, even the visiting grandmother. She literally had no one left in all the world.

"Hang in there, sweetie. We will find you and bring you back," she talked to the picture on the screen of the gap-toothed child in a flounced pink dress with her hair in a matching bow. A pedophile's dream girl.

Garcia shook her head to rid her mind of that ugly image.

"Anything?" Hotch asked from the other side of the room.

They were past the first 24 hours. If Bethany was still alive, she would remain so. Only she and Hotch were still at the station at two AM-him going over the profile again and again, and her sifting through data streaming in from places most people didn't dream of.

"No," Garcia moaned. "This guy doesn't even seem to exist, not with what you gave me."

"I know. The profile's off somewhere," Hotch muttered.

"I mean," Garcia stopped typing for a minute, thinking aloud. "This guy just hacks up the parents and the grandmother, right? With poor Bethany just watching, or being made to watch, and then he doesn't kill her too. That makes no sense. He just snatches her up and leaves. According to the profile, we should've found her body by now, because this unsub doesn't care."

"But this indicates that he does," Hotch pointed to Bethany's photo on the board.

"But he can't."

"Exactly."

"Unless he doesn't."

"Garcia, my last cup of coffee was at midnight."

"Sir?"

"Explain."

"Well, what if Bethany, with all her bows and colors, was sort of a present? I mean, she looks like a package, no offense to the poor baby."

Hotch looked her over. "A present for who?"

"Whom," Garcia corrected, sipping her own coffee. "What of he sort of has somebody?"

"But he's a loner, we profiled that. No family or close attachments."

"No, you said," and her fingers were on the keys again, rapid as a heartbeat. "You said he wasn't married, had a low-level job, and was under thirty. That just spells living with your mom or dad. Which one do I go for?"

"The ones living with their mothers," and she could see Hotch's mind begin to whirl again. "The attacks on the women were the most vicious."

"Okay, single males in Alexandria county living with females relatives, starting with mothers and grandmothers. Under thirty, white, low-level job, never married."

"If he graduated high school, which I doubt, it would have been bottom of class."

"Dropouts and underachievers singled out."

"Petty crimes. Peeping Tom reports, petty theft, possession of drugs, probably weed."

"I'm down to a hundred. More, Boss Man."

Hotch paced. "The girl is a gift. Why would he bring a gift to his mother?"

"He loves her? No, then he wouldn't want to kill mothers. So he must hate her, but why?"

"She did something."

"Or didn't do something."

"Dead fathers only," Hotch added. "Families that had domestic disputes called in."

"What if she didn't want a baby boy? Hotch, what if she said she wished her son had been a girl-"

"And so he brought her one," Hotch finished.

"Oh God."

"Yes. If that's the case, then Bethany is safe-"

"No sir. She isn't."

"But if she's a gift-"

"Then he'll be jealous, sir. He'll be so jealous that it might boil over and he might kill her."

"Or himself, when he sees how happy his mother is with a girl. Why didn't she ever try to have another child?"

"Narrowing the women down to those mothers who couldn't-I have a hit. Jason Mirsky was hospitalized for attempted suicide last year after his father died, was released last month, lives with his mother-all of it matches."

"Call the team, and the lead detective. We need everyone in here. Good work, Garcia."

She nodded, already dialing.


	13. Pretty Pina Colada

Pretty Pina Colada

Garcia wasn't a raid-going person. Derek was. He was excellent at kicking down doors.

When they came back to the station with Mirsky and his mother, Bethany had apparently decided that Derek was her person. Her little arms and legs were wrapped around him, eyes wide.

"Baby Girl," Derek called.

"Oh honey," she reached for the little girl. "Everything's okay now."

Bethany shrank into Derek. "Hey, Princess. This is Penelope. She's gonna take care of you for awhile, okay?"

Bethany shook her head, revealing a bruise on her forehead.

"Derek-"

"I know. She wouldn't let anyone look at her without me holding her."

"Poor baby. I won't hurt you, sweetie. Cross my heart. Derek has to make sure the bad guys are gone for good and then he'll be back, I promise."

She looked at Garcia, and didn't try to hide from her. Then she leaned out from Derek, very cautiously, and touched Garcia's loud necklace.

"You like yellow, sweetie? Come here," she held out her arms. Then she had an idea. "Derek, could Bethany and I watch the interrogation? So she can see you."

"I guess so. Not my call, though," his eyes drifted to Hotch.

"We'll watch you through the glass. Okay, sweetie? Then you can see Derek while you're with me."

Bethany nodded and the next moment was wrapped up around Garcia.

Hotch only gave Garcia and Bethany a cursory glance as they sat down. Derek and Rossi were interrogating Mirsky, or would be momentarily. In another room, Reid and Prentiss were speaking with the 'so terrified, so disgusted' Mrs. Mirsky. She would have the shock of her life when Prentiss and Reid turned on her. They were playing mother and son off each other.

"See, sweetie? You can see him but he can't see you. Derek and Rossi are going to ask him questions."

"Bad," Bethany announced gravely, pointing at Mirsky.

"Very bad, sweetie. Derek and Rossi will make sure he doesn't do any more bad things as soon as he tells them what bad thing he did."

"Made Mommy and Daddy and Nana all messy."

She could see Hotch listening so intently. Bethany probably hadn't spoken yet, at least not about her family.

"I know, sweetie."

"All gone?"

Garcia nodded. "All gone, sweetie."

Bethany snuggled closer to Garcia. Derek walked into the room, Rossi slowly coming behind him.

"Nice," Bethany announced when she saw Derek.

"Very nice," Bethany's hair had been crudely cut, and Garcia smoothed it down some. "Derek is a very nice man."

Bethany had no one anymore. No family. Garcia knew that feeling. And Derek, watching his father get shot-they both knew.

She rocked Bethany as Rossi and Derek got into position to kick Mirsky's sorry, homicidal, insane ass clear to kingdom come.

"So," Rossi began. "You got kill three people-in front of their little girl-and make her a present for your mom? That it, big guy?"

Mirsky shook his head. "Didn't kill nobody."

"Bullshit," Derek told him. "Isn't it bullshit, Dave?"

"Completely," Rossi agreed. "Maybe telling us why would help you, Mirsky."

"Didn't do nothing," Mirsky repeated, avoiding eyes all around.

"That's not what your mama said," Derek leaned into the table on his hands.

Mirsky's eyes shot up into Morgan's. "What she say?"

"She said you killed them, Bethany's family, and kidnapped Bethany, and kept both of them prisoner in the house. Three counts of homicide, two of kidnapping-what the sentence on that, Dave?"

"Life without parole. And that's if you aren't killed by another inmate. Or made someone's special friend, which I heard was worse. But hey, he doesn't want to help us. We don't even need to talk to him, not with Mrs. Mirsky's and Bethany's statements."

"Bitches," Mirsky mumbled. "All of them bitches, can't do a thing. Useless bitches."

Garcia kept stroking Bethany's hair, passing over her exposed ear each time. If Mirsky got virulent, she was going to clap a hand over her ear so that all she heard were seashell echoes.

"Is that why you kidnapped Bethany and killed her family?" Rossi pressed the point home.

"Bitch said I was useless," and Mirsky was talking about his mother now. "Couldn't even have a grandbaby to help her, no little girls around, just a useless boy. Gave her a girl and got her some money, too. Bitch hates the girl like she hates the boy, no different."

"The money was from the Gibson house?"

"Yeah. Stupid bitch. Was her idea I go get money. 'Go take it from some fat cat, dumb boy'. So I got the money and a girl, and she throws me out."

Hotch nodded. "Got him and her."

Bethany twisted to look at Garcia. "No more bad guy?"

Garcia smiled. "No more bad guy, or bad lady, either."

"Good," and Bethany snuggled up close again, and fell asleep.


	14. Deep Space

Deep Space

Garcia was still holding Bethany when Derek came out an hour later, once Mirsky and his mother signed their bizarre confessions.

"Child Services is coming," Derek said.

Bethany was still asleep, too. "I know. Derek-"

He put an arm around her. "I know, Baby Girl. But we can't keep her."

"Actually," she took a deep breath. "If we went and got the license today, we could get temporary custody of her, and later we could adopt her. I can't just send her away, poor baby. I'm sorry, I just can't."

Derek looked at his fiancée and the little girl in her arms. "You can make this all happen, right?"

She nodded.

Derek thought in maddening silence, then he smiled. "You get to tell Mom. Not me. She likes you. I might get eaten."

"Why? Fran gets a beautiful grandbaby out of this."

He kissed her head, and then Bethany's. "Penelope, this is probably the oddest relationship in the Bureau, you know? We haven't been on our first official date, and we're going to adopt a baby."

Garcia sighed hugely. "Thank you, Derek."

"We need witnesses."

"Just bring all of them," she indicated the team. "If we leave anyone out I'll have to smooth it all over. Just tell them to all get into the SUVs and follow us to City Hall. Since it's open now, anyway."

"God, it's seven AM? I didn't even sleep last night."

"Me either. Go on, get them."

Bethany stirred. "Ma," she murmured in her sleep.

"Here, honey. Sleep," Garcia smiled at her new daughter.

"You're going to hack into something, aren't you?"

"Absolutely. You think I'm going to let some snotty child protective services woman turn her nose up at us and write little notes? Between me and Rossi, we'll have this sewed up by Thursday."

"Probably," Rossi walked up, looking just a little frazzled. "What am I helping with?"

"Derek and I adopting Bethany."

"Don't you have to be married for that, in Virginia? Wait, are we going to City Hall?"

Rossi smiled at Garcia and she returned it. "Shut up, Dave," she told him, blushing.

"When did this happen? And am I hearing about it before your girlfriends?"

"After I talked to you and JJ about the nursery, and yes. So shut up, Dave."

He nodded. "I have a very expensive, very good lawyer on retainer. I'll get everyone and we'll go."

Rossi left. Derek looked from his soon-to-be-wife to the Italian's retreating back. "You two are a scary combination."

"We know," she shifted Bethany closer. "Didn't you? Between the two of us, we run the whole wide world."

. . . . . . . . . . .

It was a tired but happy troop that marched out to the SUVs. JJ and Emily had picked some of the mums and pansies growing around the police station to make a little bouquet for Garcia, and another for a now-awake Bethany, who pressed them into her palms where they would wilt from sweat.

The ceremony at City Hall was quick. Rossi and JJ signed as witnesses, and once they were done, Garcia got out her laptop and did things of a questionable nature to the legal system, while Rossi made a phone call to his lawyer and gave him names.

Hotch, being in charge, took everyone to Waffle House to celebrate.

Bethany sat between Derek and Penelope, wide-eyed. "Pancakes?"

"What's your favorite kind, Princess?" Derek asked.

"Choc'ate chip."

"With whipped cream?"

Bethany nodded. "Lots."

Garcia cut up the pancakes for her, while Derek talked her into drinking some of her milk. Rossi raised a toast with his coffee "To the Morgans, God help us all."

Garcia kicked him under the table, smiling sweetly. He yelped and rubbed his shin.

It was Reid who brought up living arrangements. "Do either of you have room?"

"I've got some properties, good houses I fix up," Derek said. "We can move into one of those and get out of our apartments. Course, all of us get to be at Penelope's for awhile."

"Bethany, do you like dogs?" Hotch asked. Bethany nodded seriously. "Good. Derek has a dog."

"Good dog?" Bethany asked.

"Very," Hotch promised.

Bethany nodded and scooped up more pancake and cream, getting it all over her nose and face.

Behind her shoulders, Derek and Garcia had there arms mixed up like octopus legs. They smiled over her head. She thought about names. Penelope Garcia Morgan. Bethany Morgan. The Morgans, with a nice little house where they had kids and a dog. And their day jobs as scum-ass-kickers supreme.

Of course, it would be awhile before Bethany was okay, and there would be other cases, and they wouldn't always want to like each other. There would be fights, challenges.

But they were okay.

Author's Note: Do I end it here? Or keep going with the story? There is still telling Fran, and Thanksgiving, JJ's baby, getting Emily more then one date with Lynch (sorry, my evil mind at work), and getting Hotch a friend. This is all Season 4 spoilers, BTW. I haven't included much of season 5 because I haven't see all of it yet!


	15. Oyster Sage

Oyster Sage

The one thing Garcia had counted on, but Morgan hadn't, was the reaction of one Erin Strauss, section chief.

"Got ammo?" Rossi asked as they entered the Quantico building, where Strauss was waiting like a Kraken.

She shifted Bethany from one hip to the other. "I have stuff, Dave"

"Good stuff?"

Strauss's hands were on her hips, and she was scowling. Even Hotch was slowing down in anticipation of the confrontation.

She smiled.

Rossi made the sign of the cross. "How about I take Bethany while you do battle?"

"Sweetie?" she asked Bethany. "Would you let Uncle Dave hold you a minute? I have to do something."

Bethany held out her arms to Dave, who scooped her up.

She walked past Hotch. "Garcia-"

"I've got this, sir. I am a goddess, after all. I know everything."

She met Strauss before anyone else.

"I hope you'll be handing me your resignation, Mrs. Morgan," Strauss began.

"I think not, Mrs. Strauss. Oh wait, it's been Ms. Strauss for about a month now, hasn't it?" Garcia retuned cordially.

"That is hardly your concern," was the stiff upper lip reply.

"Actually, it is, Ms. Strauss. What affects you affects the team."

"A team of which you are no longer part."

"The fraternization policy only covers if you work in the same department, Ms. Strauss. I'm a technical analyst; Derek is a behavioral analyst. Two separate units."

"I doubt the brass will see it that way."

"They will. You'll make sure."

"And why would I do that? Your glowing professionalism?"

"No, because I fight dirty. What would child services think of a mother, recently divorced, who abuses prescription drugs and has the FBI pay for it? Did someone say _Xanax_?" Garcia asked.

The color drained from Strauss's face. "Whatever you think you have-"

"See, that's the thing. I'm around profilers all the time. You pick up tricks, you know? Like that thing you just did with your hands, bit of a twist-that's your tell, like in poker. You just told me I was right. Never mind that I knew as soon as you started double-crossing the people down in Insurance. You just told me. Game over, Ms. Strauss."

Strauss swallowed. "This stays between us. It doesn't go to Hotchner or Rossi or anyone else."

Garcia nodded. "And if you make a stink, it goes public. Live and let live."

Strauss had the words stuck in her craw. "Very well, Mrs. Morgan."

"Good evening, Ms. Strauss."

She watched Strauss leave the hall and go to the elevator.

Almost instantly she was surrounded. Derek was first, now in possession of Bethany.

"What did you _do?"_

Garcia smiled. "I love the information age."

"Share," Rossi demanded.

She punched his arm. "Blackmail looses its oomph the more people know the info! Dummy, I thought you were, like, the godfather."

"I was. About twenty years ago. I concede the position to you."

Hotch elbowed his way in. "Is she going to cause any trouble for you and Morgan?"

Garcia shook her head. "Believe me when I say I've got her job by the balls. She will do nothing to rock the boat. As long as we don't either, presumably."

"Damn," Rossi snapped his fingers. "I still can't ask Jen to marry me."

"What makes you think I'd accept, you lump of fungus?" JJ demanded.

"Now, kids," Garcia held up her hands for peace. "Behave around Bethany."

"Fungus," she heard JJ mutter under her breath, smiling at Rossi. He smiled back.

"Come on, Baby Girl," Derek said. "We'll go to your place tonight and look over my other places tomorrow, find one that suits your and her."

"Excuse me, " JJ interrupted. "We still have your dog at our house."

Derek waved one hand. "We'll be by tomorrow."

JJ growled. Rossi put a hand around her waist. "Now, honey, Clooney and Mudgie love each other. It's only one more night."

"One night? That was my favorite couch!"

"And the new fabric you picked looks fantastic on it."

"You're lucky I put up with your dog, much less you."

"According to my mother, my kitchen is enough to make any Italian woman swoon. She still hasn't figured out why you stick around."

"Genetic insanity."

Derek, Garcia, and Bethany left to the comforting sound of Rossi and JJ bickering.

Author's Note: A huge hug for Cass! I had no idea what to do next, and then you wrote in about Strauss, whom I'd totally forgotten *slaps forehead*. When all else fails, Strauss will jumpstart the insanity again!


	16. Strawberry Wine

Strawberry Wine

Garcia's apartment was exactly like her-gypsy colors, scarves, plush toys, and knickknacks scattered everywhere.

Bethany squirmed to be let down in the funhouse, and instantly ran to a collection of fuzzy toys shaped like cats and tigers. She grabbed a tabby and hugged it to her chest.

"My kitty," she announced.

"Yes, it is," Garcia agreed. "Is anyone hungry?"

"What we got to eat, Baby Girl?" Derek asked. Bethany was back to investigating everything and not listening.

"Canned soup, boxed mac-n-cheese, or ordering out."

He looked at her selection of soup. He checked the date on her milk.

"Ordering out," they both said at the same time.

"Princess," Derek knelt in front of his new daughter. "You like pizza?"

"Pepperoni an' cheese," she said, her kitty under one arm while she investigated the colored stones Garcia had over and end table.

"Okay."

Garcia reached for the phone.

"Get to stay forever?" Bethany asked, still not looking up.

They both stopped what they were doing.

"Yeah, Princess. Penelope and I are going to take care of you. You get to stay with us forever."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

Garcia came over. "We're making it so you don't have to leave ever, if you don't want to."

Bethany looked from Derek to Penelope. "Are you my mommy and daddy now?"

"Yes," Garcia supplied. "But you can call us Derek and Pen if you don't want to call us Mommy and Daddy. It's okay."

She looked at Penelope. "Mommy?"

Garcia smiled. "Yes, sweetie?"

"Don't ever like pineapple on my pizza."

Penelope and Derek laughed. "Don't worry, Princess. We don't like pineapple on our pizza either."

"_Ever_," Garcia added.

She nodded. "Okay. You can be my mommy and daddy then."

Derek had to tease. She could see it coming. "Oh, so if we had liked pineapple on our pizza, we couldn't be your mommy and daddy?"

"Yes. Pineapple's yucky."

He cracked up. "I love you, Princess."

Bethany gave Derek a hug, complete with a stuffed cat tail in his face. Then she hugged Garcia. "Pepperoni an' cheese, Mommy."

"Pepperoni and cheese, sweetie."

Garcia got up and reached for the phone when it rang. The caller ID said FRANCES MORGAN.

"Hi Fran," Garcia answered. "I was going to call as soon as I ordered the pizza."

"I know that tone," Fran replied. "What did you two do? Did Derek mess up?"

"No, Derek's been wonderful, except he's hiding behind my couch right now."

"I'm beyond curious. Why?"

"Well," she bit her lip. Derek was making shooing motions over Bethany's head, mouthing 'Mom will kill me, don't you dare hand me that telephone'.

"Okay, don't be mad at us. We are still doing the wedding." And then she launched into the whole story, of Bethany and her family and Virginia's adoption laws. When she finished, Fran was silent.

"Well."

It was one word. Garcia felt the disapproval.

"We're really sorry, Fran. But neither of us could put Bethany in the system."

"It's just-you two have barely started to get to know each other. What if moving too fast ruins everything?"

"It won't. We have her, Fran. And we've known each other for years before this. It's not like we only met last week. Although I would've married him the week I met him, if I had the option."

That made Fran laugh. "Well, let me talk to my new grandbaby."

"Bethany," Garcia called. "Come here. Daddy's mom wants to talk to you." "My nana?" Bethany cocked her head like a sparrow.

"Yes, your nana."

Bethany took the phone. "Nana, I'm Beth'ny."

Garcia went over to Morgan while Fran and Bethany got acquainted. "Are we dead?" he asked.

"No. But she registers her disapproval of moving too fast on starting a family. Give Bethany five minutes and she'll be converted."

"I love you two."

"Then get out your cell and order some pepperoni pizza for the hungry masses."

Bethany laughed at something Fran said.

"You know she'll be out here inside a month. Mom."

"Then let's be moved into our new place by then. It'll be too cramped in here for everyone."

"Agreed. We'll go looking at my places tomorrow."

"How many do you own?"

"Three, right now. I'm renting out two others."

"Wow."

"Daddy," Bethany toddled over, holding out the phone. "Nana wants talk to you."

He took the phone gingerly, as if it were an unexploded bomb. "Hi Mom."

Author's Note: I know-another cliffhanger. I can't help it. It's compulsive.


	17. Under Aqua

Under Aqua

The next day-after Derek sweated it out for twenty minutes on the phone with Fran, and after he had bought a car seat for their daughter-they were out looking at his places.

Garcia absolutely vetoed the first.

"It's the middle of nowhere. I don't think wireless even comes out here. And the trees are creepy."

The second one Bethany put her foot down with two words. "Ugly, Daddy."

Garcia had to agree with that.

Three had potential. It was in suburban Quantico, had a fenced-in yard, and she could see the cell tower.

When they went inside, Bethany scrambled up the stairs. Derek put his arm around Garcia.

"Baby Girl?"

The ceiling was painted sky blue. She smiled. "Let's ask Bethany."

They found her upstairs, sitting in one of the bedrooms, overlooking the backyard. "My room."

"Okay," Derek said. "It's official. We're moving in."

Just then his cell phone rang. He grimaced.

"JJ, dammit," he muttered, then answered. "Morgan. Yeah, she is." He sighed. "Okay, we're coming in."

He hung up.

Garcia nodded. "Another case?"

He nodded.

She patted his chest. "It's okay."

"Not really."

Bethany looked at her parents. "Go?"

"Yeah, sweetie," Garcia said. "Do you want to see where Mommy works?"

She nodded enthusiastically, hair bouncing and eyes glowing.

"Good, cause that's where we're going. And Daddy has to go to work too, but we get to sneak in and hide."

"Hide and seek?" Bethany asked.

"Hide and seek," Garcia confirmed. Strauss would be in her lair. She came in at the start of the day and left at five precisely. They could smuggle Bethany in and out with no one the wiser.

Derek shook his head. "That's going to be a tough sell if Strauss catches you."

"Strauss can kiss my hinny," Garcia told him, sweeping Bethany up in a rippling wave of fuchsia.

Derek sighed. God help the poor sucker that tried to change Penelope.

He wouldn't have her any other way.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Garcia and Bethany were together in her bunker. Dave, bless his heart, had brought toys for the little girl, and Garcia had brought her laptop which she had downloaded a bunch of little-kid and little-girl games. Bethany was playing those while her mother looked up info for a triple homicide in Los Alamos, Texas, and talked to Hotch on the phone.

"Well, Fearless Leader, I have several absolutely disgusting assaults in the Los Alamos area dating back twenty years."

"Narrow it to males, about twenty years old at the time of first assaults, and put repeat offenders at the top of the list."

"Done. Bethany, honey, don't put pens in your mouth. You don't need to eat ink."

Obligingly, Bethany began to draw with the pen instead of eat its tip.

"Garcia?"

"Down to nineteen offenders, repeats heading the list." "Are you two okay up there?"

"We are ensconced in the Temple of All Awesomeness, and Strauss has nary a clue, my liege. Hit me so I can narrow it down."

"White, middle-class, probably didn't get past high school. Hi, Bethany."

Bethany looked up as her name came through to phone. She came over and stood chin-level to Garcia's desk.

"Hi Unca Hotch," she said.

"How are you, honey?"

"I made a picture with Mommy's pens. It's a doggy."

"Really? Is it Clooney?"

"Yes. Maybe Clooney'll like it."

"I think he will, honey."

"Okay," Garcia was back. "From nineteen to ten. Anything else?"

"Not right now," he sighed. "Send me the list; we'll see what we can dig up."

"Always. Say goodbye to Uncle Hotch, sweetie."

"Bye Unca Hotch," Bethany went back to her drawings.

"Hotch?" Garcia asked.

"Yes?"

"You take care out there, okay? I worry about all my babies, even you."

"I know."

"I mean it," she swallowed. "We need you, you hear? Don't make me set Derek on you."

"I'll come back, Garcia. I promise."

Garcia nodded. Hotch always kept his word. He wasn't going to run headfirst into a hail of bullets on purpose now.

"Good. Otherwise I'll whoop your booty. Ciao!"

She signed off with an artful flick of her pen over the 'end call' button.


	18. Envy Beam

Envy Beam

It had been three weeks since Bethany had come to live with Derek and Garcia. Between cases, they had set up the new house, gotten Bethany's things from her old house, and Derek had repainted Bethany's new room to her specifications-lavender with unicorns.

"I didn't know you could paint like, art," Garcia informed him, seeing the jumping fantasy creatures with glitter in their manes.

"Just keep it to yourself, little mama," he teased. There was purple and blue paint all over him and his shirt.

Bethany tumbled in with more glitter on her. "Pretty, Daddy."

"Thank you, Princess."

"Oh, I don't know. I'm tempted to take photos."

"Penelope, no photos. You have Photoshop. That's scarier then any unsub I'll ever meet."

She grinned. "Even scarier then you mom and sisters?"

"Yeah, even more-why you asking?"

He gave her a deeply suspicious look. She shrugged and sipped her coffee. No way was she going to tip her hand.

"I'm going to go see JJ," Garcia announced. "Emily and I need to take her out shopping, since she's outgrowing all her clothes."

Bethany hugged Garcia's leg, leaving a glitter trail. "Bye Mommy. Gotta make Daddy work."

Garcia stroked her hair. She was wearing it in pigtails now, after asking Garcia to make it cooler then her bows. She loved pigtails.

"Good job, sweetie. Make sure you feed him lunch."

"Okay Mommy."

She was over with Derek then, sprinkling more sparkles on his creation.

Garcia loved her family.

. . . . . . . . . . .

JJ and Emily were already at the restaurant when Garcia got there. JJ was wearing a big, shapeless dress and a scowl.

Garcia sat down next to her. "You okay?"

"Morning sickness should be optional."

"Very true. Do you feel good enough to get something nicer to wear?"

"This," she picked at the dress. "Was Dave's mother's from when she was pregnant."

"That's so sweet that she loaned it to you!"

"Gave it," JJ corrected. "Her words: 'I know it's ugly, cara, but at least it's comfortable.' And it is. I don't even care that I look like a curtain off the rod. And I'm not even fat yet-this is only seven weeks and everything doesn't fit. And I'm whining. About everything."

Garcia and Emily shared a look and smiled. Emily leaned forward.

"How's Dave been?"

JJ smiled. "Awesome. We've found out I can keep ginger ale and apples down, so they now overtake the fridge. And he hardly let's me lift a finger at home. When we come to work-I don't know if anyone's noticed-"

"That he carries everything to your office, visits you at least twice an hour, brings you lunch, and tries to make sure you don't move any more then you must?" Garcia asked.

"That he carries your go-bag, opens every door, actually cleaned up the day-old Chinese from the last station so you wouldn't be sick, and keeps you supplied with your new favorite tea even in the middle of nowhere, south of bum screw Egypt and west of the sticks?" Emily added.

JJ blushed.

"He really is amazing. When he isn't being an overprotective ass," JJ added.

"So," Garcia turned to Emily. "How be your love life?"

It was Emily's turn to blush. "Kevin and I are going to ComicCon next weekend."

"Oh, is this date number three?"

"Five."

Garcia fist-pumped the air. "I am awesome."

"You are," Emily conceded.

"How's Bethany?"

Garcia smiled. "She's mostly good. Derek's repainting her bedroom, she likes to run the backyard with Clooney, who thinks she's just cute. The neighbors haven't come over yet, but I intend to start a conversation with someone. Not looking like a housewife-when no woman on my street works because her husband does and she gets to raise kids-well, it's like dropping Hotch in a gay district and expecting no one to notice."

They giggled. Hotch would stand out in a gay area.

"Mostly good?" Emily asked.

"She has nightmares. Most nights she sleeps with us, actually. Smack between Derek and me."

They all nodded. Everyone in the BAU knew about the nightmares that came after a bloody case.

"Now," Garcia rubbed JJ's shoulder blades. "How about we make you look like a sexy mama?"

"Shouldn't be too hard," JJ smiled wickedly. "Dave gave me the credit cards."

"When you say 'gave'-" Emily began.

JJ nodded. "My name on every card he has. Even the one for his bank account."

"Wow."

"So," JJ picked up her purse. "Shall we, ladies?"


	19. Melon Slice

**Author's Note: I'm going to be switching up POVs for something different, since I bore easily and have some variant of ADD. **

**Melon Slice**

**JJ doubted Dave would notice the-to her-large dent in his credit limit on the MasterCard. She still felt a little bit guilty.**

**Emily and Garcia had dropped her off at home an hour ago. Dave was someplace with Hotch-'I need to get that boy out more'-and she was sitting in the den in front of the TV, shopping bags around her. She was exhausted, and still wearing Mrs. Rossi's dress. The only thing she had changed was too take off her shoes and ask Garcia for some water before they left.**

**Mudgie was at her feet, avidly intent on the soap opera currently playing. She liked Mudgie.**

"**Lucy," it was Dave. "I'm home."**

"**I'm in the den," she yelled back.**

**He sauntered into the den. He took in the TV, the dog, the water, and the scattered bags. She saw his eyes darken up.**

**Automatically, she cringed. She had spent a bit too much.**

"**Jen, honey, you okay? Garcia called and said you looked tired."**

"**I was all over the mall," she explained, waiting.**

**He sat beside her. "But she called two hours ago."**

"**What? It was only one-"**

**She caught sight of the clock. My God, it was almost four in the afternoon.**

**He pushed some hair off her face. "Are you okay, honey?"**

"**Just a bit tired, I guess."**

"**Then how about I get you up into our rather large and comfy bed so you can take a nap?"**

**She smiled. "Okay."**

**He scooped her up, as if she were feather-light, and carried her up the stairs. "Maybe you should get checked up."**

"**I've got another appointment next week."**

"**I was thinking sooner."**

"**Worrywart."**

"**About you I am!"**

"**Mother hen," she continued.**

**He laid her down on the bed, which was the height of pure luxury and pretty much swallowed her lithe frame.**

"**Hush, cara. I'm allowed to worry. You're the woman I love and carrying our child. I have the right to be extremely overprotective."**

"**Doesn't mean I'll go to the doctor any more then I have to." She snuggled into the comforter.**

**He kissed her forehead. "I will go make dinner. After you have slept and been fed and watered we will discuss this."**

"**When we can have a proper argument, you mean."**

"**Absolutely. As a point of honor, I insist you and I be on equal physical footing when we argue. Makes it more interesting."**

**She picked up a pillow and whacked him before dropping off.**

**. . . . . . . . . . .**

**While JJ slept, Rossi called Garcia. **

"**Yes, O Great One?" Garcia asked. "And how is the mother-to-be?"**

"**She and I are going to have an argument, and then she'll go to the doctor."**

"**Is she okay?"**

"**Really tired. Which makes me worry. I've never been around pregnant women before, I have no clue. But she's going to tell you-"**

"**And you want me to take your side?"**

"**Please. I'm worried about her, Penelope."**

"**Me too. She was almost dazed by the time we were leaving. Emily wanted to take her to hospital then and there, but-well, she's home, so you know who won that argument."**

"**I know how Emily feels."**

"**Well, feed her and see if that helps."**

"**I will. Maybe salmon?"**

"**As long as it doesn't smell fishy, you should be good."**

"**Grilled salmon," he decided. "And apples, of course."**

"**Of course. Call me, okay?"**

"**I will. Give Beth a hug from her Uncle Dave."**

"**If I can peel her away from Uncle Hotch long enough. He and Derek are repairing the roof over the porch. Or were. Right now they're playing with Beth and Clooney, and Hotch is showing her some wrestling moves."**

"**We need to get him someone."**

"**We need to kick Haley in the ass, **_**then**_** get him a girlfriend."**

"**He might not like us kicking Haley's ass."**

"**Like I care. But you're right. You know, we should get Jack and Bethany together, I bet they'd have a blast."**

"**You know, you're right."**

**There was a crash at Garcia's end. "Call you, I'm on damage control, give Jayje my love and kisses."**

**And the connection was severed.**


	20. Postal Red

Postal Red

Garcia hurled herself outside to find Hotch blinking from a position on the ground, Bethany sucking her thumb, and Derek using substitute words like 'goldang' and 'crap' from the roof.

"What happened?" Garcia demanded.

Hotch was trying to get up. "I slipped."

"Off the _roof_? Don't you dare move!" she ordered.

"I'm fine, Garcia."

"Like hell! Bethany, honey, please watch your Uncle Hotch and let me know if her tries to get up. Derek!" she yelled up the roof. "Get down here!"

"Mommy," Bethany said.

She turned to find Hotch sitting up. Garcia liked to think she picked up some tips from profilers, so she got in his face.

"Aaron Hotchner, so help me God, if you move one more centimeter I will tell that little bimbo in the mail room you have a thing for her and let you take the consequences, you hear me?"

He stopped even adjusting his position. "Yes ma'am."

She nodded as Derek joined her, holding onto his left wrist. "You okay, man?"

"I'm fine. Please tell Penelope that."

"Do I look dumb, or just plain stupid?"

Garcia looked Derek and Hotch over. "You both need to get checked out. What happened?"

"They were playing on the roof, Mommy."

"Tattler," Garcia heard Hotch mutter, she swiped at the general area of his head and he was quiet.

"You two will make me an old, ugly woman well before my time. Hotch, you just fell off a roof. That isn't a thing to be taken lightly."

"Aren't you even worried about me, Baby Girl?"

"You live here, Derek. You can't escape me."

Derek gulped.

"Garcia?" Hotch asked with unfailing politeness.

"Yes?"

"Doesn't Rossi have a doctor who makes house calls?"

"You probably need X-rays."

"But," and she could see how he'd won so many court cases. "If he checked Morgan and I out, he could tell us if we needed X-rays, and there wouldn't be any hospital trip involved."

Which was probably true. She pulled out her cell and called Rossi up.

"How's damage control?" Rossi answered.

"I can't get either of these idiots to go to a hospital."

"Want me to send my guy over?"

"It's the only thing I can get an agreement on. Otherwise they intend to whine and negotiate the rest of the trip in."

"I'll call him up. What were they doing?"

"Playing on the roof, according to my impartial witness."

She heard Rossi sigh. "And here I thought Hotch had more sense."

"So did I. About how long?"

"It'll take him about an hour. Is anyone passed out or puking?"

"Not yet. Maybe after I beat sense into someone. Thanks, Dave."

"What's family for?"

Between her and Derek they hauled Hotch inside, who kept insisting he'd only gotten the wind knocked out of him. Derek promised he'd only twisted a muscle in his wrist trying to grab Hotch.

Bethany had decided to curl up between the two men and make them watch _Cinderella_. It was really funny to see two grown men, BAU hotshots with muscles and 'I'll kick your ass' expressions, sitting around watching an old Disney movie at the request of a small girl.

The doctor was a very nice man about Rossi's age named Morelli. Dr. Morelli confirmed that Hotch was going to be sore, mainly because he'd bruised a couple ribs on the way down. He gave Hotch a bottle holding a few doses of Vicodan so he could sleep until the bruising went down.

Derek had sprained his left wrist. Over much protesting, it was wrapped up like a Christmas ham. Dr. Morelli told Garcia that he needed to keep ice on it whenever possible, and he was lucky it was his left or he'd have to take a couple weeks off. Either way, they shouldn't go rushing after bad guys for a week.

Garcia rolled her eyes. "That's one of the seven signs of the Apocalypse, didn't you know?"

She showed Dr. Morelli out. "Thank you. They're both very stubborn."

"Not a problem, Mrs. Morgan," he assured her. "At least you have some influence. I don't know how many times I've told Dave to do something or other and he doesn't, and then I have to clean up a bigger mess."

"Well, try to get JJ on your side. Which is going to be hard, since I have a feeling you're going to be the one seeing why she's so tired. She won't like that!"

"Isn't she due in November?" "Yeah."

Dr. Morelli chewed his lip. "Well, there's a few things I can check for. She may just be iron deficient."

"That would be an easy fix. She might kiss you if she doesn't have to miss work. Derek, don't even think about it," she yelled that last over her shoulder, having heard him start to scramble around for something.

"Well, have a good day, Mrs. Morgan."

"You too, Doctor Morelli."

She shut the door behind him, wondering if Hotch was going to stay the night. Maybe Emily could drive him home later, because otherwise he'd be asleep on the couch.


	21. Peach Brandy

Peach Brandy

Garcia and Derek were awake in their bed, Bethany between them, speaking in low voices so as not to wake her.

"Mom's coming out for Thanksgiving still," Derek was saying. "She wants to know when the real wedding is, too. That's on you."

"Oh hush. Besides, I told her we would have a spring wedding, when the cherry trees came out."

"Did we have a conversation about that?"

"I was going to, but I ran through it all in my head and you agreed, so I didn't bother with the real-world test."

Derek chuckled and stroked her cheek. "Leads to a conversation I never did the real-world test with, with you."

"And what was that, O great god composed solely of chocolate?"

"The fact that we're going to have at least a half-dozen kids, part of which will be adopted. "

"I was hoping for a round dozen, actually."

The streetlamp cast shadows over the three of them. Garcia's stuffed animals were scattered around the room, as well as Derek's gun on the nightstand, locked away in a box that was fingerprint coded so that Bethany couldn't get in.

"And," Garcia continued. "Some of the women around here stopped by to see me. Crystal-she's two houses down-invited us over for a cookout and Bethany swimming."

"Sounds like a party."

"No, a party is what Em and I are planning for JJ. Girls only, no alcohol, sexy lingerie, and maybe a male stripper."

"Woman, can I trust you with a male stripper?"

"Why? You want to volunteer to take his place?"

"Hell no. You're the only woman I want to see my-"

"Language!"

"Penelope, she's asleep."

"She might absorb it and be permanently scarred."

"I've never heard of that happening. What have you been looking up on those computers of yours, goddess?"

"Things beyond your comprehension, technological mortal."

" I don't doubt it for an instant."

He passed a hand over Bethany's hair. Garcia had braided it so it would be easier to brush in the morning.

"I love you, Baby Girl," he told Garcia. Then he kissed Bethany. "Love you too, Princess."

They were a family.

Author's Note: Sorry so short! I blame Morgan and Reid, who have run away with my muse and won't let me play here! I will update this-I have a ton of ideas for this story, but none seem to be working right now. Updates will continue more frequently on "Don't Know Much About History"-where the boys hid my muse-and some other things until I figure out where this goes from here. But I did try to give it a feeling of closure, since it might be awhile and I didn't want to leave things hanging out like underwear on a clothesline. Isn't that embarrassing when some older lady relative does that-with her own panties next to yours?


End file.
